• Kairos EME

The Exodus List: 8. Natalia, Bielsko

I remember specifically a time, when I was on my mission year in the Philippines in 2018. I was then on a weekend retreat and it had been quite some time since I had really heard God's voice. I felt like I was in a desert with my spiritual life, with my prayer. I shared that with my pastoral leader and what she said really lifted me up. She gave an example of Mother Teresa who didn't hear God's voice for 50 years and yet she kept following Jesus and fulfilling His will, being His faithful servant and missionary. I was very inspired by that and with that on my mind I sat down in a chapel to spend some time with God. I prayed and I said: "Lord, I can't hear you right now, but I know you're here, I can feel your presence." I closed my eyes and I just sat there in silence just listening but not really expecting to hear anything. More like I wanted to feel Him.

After a moment, when I opened my eyes I saw on a blackboard in the chapel a passage from Psalm 95: "If today you hear His voice, harden not your hearts". This sentence made me smile and helped me to open my heart even more to Him. I reached for my Bible, opened it and read what I saw. That was Matthew 5:3, the 8 Beatitudes.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

It is a beautiful promise from God that He's prepared great things for me, that He's working in me. In that moment, I knew I had nothing to worry about because Jesus is in control! There might be times I can't see or hear or feel Him, but He is there! And I will keep serving Him and his people because that's what makes me happy. And He will reveal Himself to me in the most beautiful and perfect time.


One song that really always lifts my head and spirit is "Since Your Love" - by United Pursuit. Beautiful song about the love of God for us.

Just a gal and her plants...